Beauty Is A Birthright

What do you define beauty as? What comes to your mind when you think of the word beautiful?

If I were asked to define beauty, I would say that it’s almost impossible, because it is seen differently in the eyes of each individual. My own personal definition of one's beauty is power, whether this power is embedded in our imperfections and flaws, embodied by our happiness or reflected in our perceptions of the world. I consider beauty to be radiated, raw, and undeniably strong. It’s more than just a spectrum, and it has infinite definitions.

That being said, society’s definition of beauty for women does have ‘standards’ that we are expected to follow in order to fit in and be considered ‘beautiful’. The feminine beauty ideal is a socially constructed opinion, according to which a woman’s most important asset is her attractiveness. For the majority of women globally, these unrealistic standards of beauty are too often centered on a few physical attributes. In reality, beauty encompasses so much more of who we are as women through our happiness, confidence, and experiences.

Where do these standards come from? The roots, some analysts say, are economic. By presenting an ideal that is difficult and sometimes impossible to achieve, the cosmetic, social media and fashion industries are ensured financial growth and profits. It’s no accident that youthfulness and thinness are increasingly promoted as ‘essential’ criteria of beauty, when in actuality, there should be no criteria at all. It’s like society wants to put women into a box, where we must all fit a certain mold in order to succeed both personally and professionally. Well, I and many others say it’s time we break out of that box!

These beauty standards are tools of oppression that reinforce sexism, racism, colorism, classism, ableism, ageism, gender norms, and the list just goes on and on. The standards are built into our societies and embedded into our brains. Whether we are conscious of it or not, most of us are striving to attain these beauty ideals that our society imposes on us at the cost of our internal well being. But what else are we supposed to think when we see all these images that idealise the current beauty standards? The relentless and often elusive demands of the beauty industry can have devastating effects.

The media puts us everywhere - billboards, tv screens, instagram posts, magazines - which is empowering, but it also shapes our personal relationships with our own bodies and looks. Have you ever felt distress about whether or not your body conforms to the pictures and images that are incessantly beamed at us? I know I have. The constant exposure to thin, young, airbrushed female bodies, without any diversity, has been shown to be linked to depression, loss of self-esteem and the development of unhealthy eating habits in women and girls. These feelings about beauty impact a woman's sense of worth and in turn, how she lives and engages in her life. When I see that about 17% of women claim they won’t go to a job interview and that 8% miss work or school when they feel bad about their appearance, I clearly see that this so-called version of ‘beauty’ is extremely problematic.

Beauty is something that should be a source of confidence, not of worry and pressure! We need to create a world free of appearance-related anxiety, so young women can grow up as confident and active members of our society. Beauty should not be limited exclusively to one’s external features. What about the beauty we radiate from within? Why does this internal beauty not receive more praise and celebration? When women and girls hold themselves back because of the way they think they look, they miss out on the world – and the world misses out on them too.

I remember when I started playing with Barbie Dolls at a young age. They all looked the same, yet none looked anything like the women around me. I would ask my mother, “Is this what I’m going to look like when I grow up?” This exposure to a toy, to a simple doll, was the beginning of my own perception of what ‘beauty’ was. I feel like I have to wear a mask most of the time to fit in with the current narrow ideal of beauty, rather than face the world as I am, in my uniqueness. I can openly say that I struggle every day to acknowledge that I am deserving, that I am enough and that I am beautiful just the way I am. Not only is it a lifelong journey to accept myself on the inside, but now there’s an added layer of acceptance for who I am externally. I have grown up being told that my personality is ‘too much’, that I am “too open”, “too loud”. Yet, at the same time, I also ‘wasn’t enough’. I then started thinking that I needed to be more of this and look more like that in order to be accepted and successful. I began to focus so much on the way that I looked. The list of expectations grew to a tremendous amount of pressure that I still carry with me on a daily basis. What I originally thought were beautiful traits about myself quickly began to be downplayed and rejected by society's image of what ‘beauty’ is supposed to look like. I would view photos of other women on social media, and I would constantly compare myself to them and pick apart what I saw in the mirror leading to many destructive habits. Furthermore, as a woman in STEM, I wasn’t exposed to many role models as a young girl to look up to, which led me to put myself and my ambitions down. My physical appearance does not in any way shape or form determine the course of my life, my capabilities or my happiness. I have only just begun to realize this and change my outlook on beauty and the way I view myself. I am realizing I truly am beautiful! I radiate love and positivity, I am ambitious, I am unapologetically loud and energetic and I bring people together. I am no longer afraid to try to break out of the box that society continuously tries to trap us in.

Unfortunately, how I feel is similar to how women and girls feel all around the world, and it’s heart wrenching. External beauty needs to become inclusive of a greater variety of body shapes and sizes as well as ages and ethnic backgrounds, and internal beauty needs to be celebrated more. Young girls should be exposed to media that dares them to dream big and that provides them with women they can look up to. I have a strong desire to see the media do a better job of portraying women for who we are, in all our raw and powerful beauty. Can we as women start to shift this and invoke change? Yes, yes we can - and we can do it together.

Over the last five or so years, there has been a shift in how women are being represented in the media and in society. A variety of body types have now commanded the front pages of some of the world’s most prestigious fashion magazines, showcasing that they are a powerful force of beauty. Women like Paloma Elsesser, Ashley Graham, Iskra Lawrence, Liza Golden-Bhojwani, and Agnes Hedengard are changing the game with their influence on how society and the media views us. From a personal fave of mine, Lizzo (who took center stage on the front cover of Vogue Magazine) to Winnie Harlow (who is using her social media platform to spread messages about body positivity and racial inequality in the beauty industry), today’s media shows that times are changing - but we still have a long way to go.

As a culture, we give lip service to the notion that what matters is inner beauty when, in fact, it’s the outer version that carries the real social currency. We are in a better place than we were a generation ago, but the concept of beauty in itself is still flawed. Real beauty comes from within; your physical body is the least interesting part of you. Together, we are a force to be reckoned with. We can use our voices, our experiences, and our perspectives to open society's eyes to what we think truly makes us, as women, beautiful. So let's talk more about it, and see how real people in real life match up to the media’s vision of beauty. Women are strong, beautiful, and have a voice, so let’s start to listen!

I asked 20 beautiful, and powerful women in my life a few questions. I love each and every one of these women and they inspire me on a daily basis.

1. What do you define beauty as?

2. When do you feel most beautiful?

3. What about yourself do you think is beautiful?

Zoe Ucylett - 21 years old

1. Beauty to me does not necessarily reflect your physical appearance, but rather the way you perceive yourself and the confidence you have. Beauty is accepting every perfection and imperfection that you have and being at ease. It is not something that can be given by others. It is an eternal love for yourself.

2. I personally feel the most beautiful when my mental state is at its best. During these times I feel confident about myself and that people will enjoy my presence due to my personality and not my appearance. The concept of feeling beautiful is something I still struggle with, but everyday it becomes easier.

3. This is a really tough question to answer. Growing up I always compared myself to my friends or others, wishing I could have features that looked more like theirs and that everything given in life all depended on the way you looked. It hasn’t been until recently that I finally felt comfortable with my body or features. The one physical feature that I am most comfortable with would be my contagious smile. Other than that, I’d like to think that I have a beautiful personality. Learning that beauty comes from within has really impacted my outlook on life and the way I interact with individuals.

Swati Anant - 19 years old

1. For me, having gone most of my life feeling insecure about my appearance, I have grown to define beauty as a mindset rather than a way someone should look. I think beauty involves feeling confident and being yourself no matter what you think you look like. It doesn’t mean you need to feel on top of the world every single day, but I think it involves being comfortable in your own skin and letting your individuality shine through.

2. I truly feel most beautiful when I’m talking about the things I’m passionate about in life. Specifically, I can feel my confidence shining through when I’m either playing piano or talking to others about how much I love piano. I also feel really confident when I get ready in the morning even if I’m not leaving the house. Over the past year I have become very emotionally attached to my sweatpants, but whenever I break the routine and actually try to wear my favourite clothes even if I’m not leaving the house, I always end up feeling on top of the world.

3. I think I’m generally a very passionate person, where it’s in relation to school activities, music or even my friends and family. When I’m talking to the people I love, or as I mentioned before, playing piano like no one is watching, I feel like I’m in my happy place. I’m always trying to spread that passion to the people around me, and I hope that’s something beautiful about me!

Cassidy Dollinger - 25 years old

1. For me, beauty is defined in the things that people are passionate about. I feel like I see people as their most beautiful when they're talking about something they love (like music, their really cool job, a hobby). I think passion and intentionality are the things that really define beauty for me.

2. I feel the most beautiful when I'm doing things that make me feel strong and in tune with my body. I absolutely love bouldering, and nothing makes me feel stronger or more beautiful than when I'm on the wall climbing. Yoga is another space where I am able to feel both strong and beautiful at the same time.

3. Outside of physical beauty, I think that the way I am able to form really genuine connections with people is something beautiful about me. Physically, I have always struggled with finding myself conventionally beautiful, and so I have chosen to just accept my full-self as being equally beautiful to avoid the trap of picking out what I'd like to change (because really, it's all just me!)

Irene Zhao - 20 years old

1. People often talk about inner and outer beauty, or the idea of appearance and personality. Though I like this approach, I think that emotion and state of mind are also important components of beauty. For me, beauty involves feeling comfortable in my own skin, learning to accept that I'm not flawless, being an empathetic and kind person, and maintaining a positive mindset. Though there are times where I wish I could meet the physical standards of beauty on social media, there are also times when I realize I feel beautiful despite not looking like digitally edited models. Overall, I think beauty can be found in someone's physical appearance and personality, but beauty is also found in simple moments that aren't defined by what other people think.

2. I feel most beautiful when I feel happy and appreciative. I think memories or moments can be classified as beautiful, and it's often when I reflect on certain experiences that I feel most beautiful. For example, appreciating a new lipstick I've just applied, sitting by a lake with friends after a long hike, doing a skincare routine before I read and go to bed- these are moments where I feel beautiful because they're attached to positive feelings and help me feel comfortable, valued and empowered.

3. Because I associate beauty strongly with positive memories, I think my smile is beautiful. Smiling contributes to both inner and outer beauty, and if I'm smiling, the chances are I'm feeling happy in the moment. Beyond this, I find different parts of myself beautiful on different days. Some days I might be in a good mood, and I'll think that my skin looks clear and beautiful. Other days I might get a good night's sleep and think that my eyes look brighter. But overall, my perception of my own beauty changes frequently because I'm still working on being comfortable in my skin and accepting my flaws. It's a work in progress, but I'm happy to know that beauty is subjective, and that I am allowed to form my own opinion about what is beautiful.

LucyNdez Us - 39 years old

1. I define beauty as being comfortable in your own skin, blemishes, extra-pounds, wrinkles, etc - those are what make you beautiful. Experience is beauty. It is worn in so many ways. Even for young people, bags under your eyes from studying all night, broken hearts from first loves - those all make a person beautiful. Beauty is wearing sadness, fear, confidence, or whatever it is you're feeling, with every ounce of you that you have.

2. I feel most beautiful when I see myself in the morning, waking up to kill another day, knowing I have an important job to do with my kids and my life. I look at myself with the same bun I’ve had on my head probably for a couple days lol... and I say to myself: “You are an amazing woman ... go make the world your b****.”

3. I think my heart is the most beautiful. Also my eyes; they are a direct link to my emotions. What my heart feels, my eyes show.

Allison Lawlor - 19 years old

1. I find beauty in nature, in words, in our emotions, in our actions, in life, and so much more. To me the idea of beauty is boundless. It can be anything that makes me stop and stare for a while or takes me by surprise. Beauty is something pure and innocent that can be found both on the outside and within.

2. I find I tend to wear my emotions, so I feel most beautiful when I am confident, happy and carefree. I feel beautiful when I wear a new outfit I am excited about or when I do a great job on my hair and makeup one day. I feel beautiful when I am with my friends and they hype me up or if a stranger nicely compliments me on the street.

3. I think my bright blue eyes make me beautiful and I admire the curve of my breasts. I like my big thighs just as much as I like my small hands and thin arms. I love the colour of my hair even though I get it done - it may not be natural, but it brings my joy and confidence. My determination and drive, my ability to feel so many emotions, my selflessness and caring for others are a couple of things I admire about myself and I think make me a beautiful person on the inside.

Rachel Phord- Toy - 18 years old

1. To me, being beautiful is having the confidence and grit to persist through challenges as you work towards your goals. Resilience is a trait I admire, and it's something I try to improve on every day. All the women I respect in my life have been remarkably tough and unrelenting when presented with difficult decisions or situations, and I hope to continue growing in that aspect as well!

2. I feel the most beautiful when I’m pursuing my passions! When I’m doing the things I love, I'm proud of my accomplishments and I look forward to what I can achieve in the future. Whether it’s kayaking or studying for a favourite course, whenever I’m striving towards my goals I feel productive and a strong sense of individuality! This applies to other people as well. When I see my friends and family taking steps to achieve their dreams, they inspire me to want to better myself too!

3. A trait I think is beautiful about myself is my readiness to understand people and situations from a place of curiosity. Navigating school and life can be difficult, so I always try to remain objective and give people the benefit of the doubt when the situation calls for it. Adapting this mindset has allowed me to further understand my role within my communities and what I can provide for others.

Julie Deighton - 50 years old

1. I define beauty as natural, pure, and raw. Beauty is within someone inside and out; their soul! Acceptance of yourself and feeling comfortable with oneself is beautiful. Seeing beauty in others no matter their color, race, shape, size or disability. Being kind to others and putting yourself in the other person's shoes. Speaking to and treating people how you want to be spoken to and treated all embody beauty to me.

2. This is actually a really hard question for me as I see others more beautiful than me, if you are referring to visual looks. However, when I feel most beautiful is when I help others by making them feel good and beautiful about themselves and not expecting anything in return. Going out of my way to make someone's day, telling them they look nice - basically give compliments. Tell them how lovely they look, etc.

3. I guess I tend to feel good about myself when I make others feel good about themselves. Being positive and always praising people, inspiring others, being a role model. I am a hopeless romantic and I love others being in love. It is so important for every single person to feel loved by someone and feel needed. Every day I will smile at a stranger or say hello, as I may be the only person to do it that day.

Kay McCallum - 24 years old

1. I think that beauty is the creation and reflection of art and happiness!!

2. I feel beautiful when I’m laughing and when I’m outside.

3. I think my ambition and empathy is beautiful.

Julia Phillips - 15 years old

1. I think beauty is in the eyes, it’s the energy people put out in the world. As a fifteen year old girl, I don’t think I have figured out what beauty really means; I think I am guided to define my beauty as approval and justification from others, and I wish it wasn’t this way.

2. I feel most beautiful when I’m relaxed and carefree, when I don’t have a single worry and I’m not stressed about other people. When I laugh and yell and talk with people who I love. It’s hard to describe the feeling. When I get dressed up and have makeup on, I feel “pretty” or “hot” - but when I see myself in the mirror, my wavy hair dried from the ocean and my skin kissed by the sun, that’s when I feel really beautiful.

3. I think that my smile is beautiful, I love my loud laugh and my “annoying” voice, and I love that I am myself and not afraid to say what I want. I think I am an interesting, loving person with a lot to say and do, and I feel I keep getting more beautiful everyday. I don’t care what anyone says, you have one body, one mind so love it, hype yourself up and make yourself a priority.

Kiera Jenson - 15 years old

1. To me beauty is a term blown out of proportion. It's not something people should have a definition of, or something that should be judged. It's something that should make you feel positive about yourself. It's all the little beautiful things about yourself that make you feel more confident and good about yourself. Of course everyone has their own feelings about what they find beautiful or what beauty they look for, but to me, I view beauty as being yourself and being happy about who you are.

2. I feel most beautiful when my mind is refreshed and I have a positive attitude about myself. To be honest, I do feel beautiful when I look like “the standard” pretty girl. Or when I'm all done up with a cute outfit on and my makeup done. I'd say I rarely feel good about myself or feel beautiful when I haven't showered or got fully done up, which is saddening.

3. I like my straight blonde thin hair, my small pinched up nose, my bright blue eyes, and my petite body. I love a lot about myself. Sometimes of course there's things I wish were different, but I always tell myself and friends who struggle with confidence, “You only have one body and personality to live with. You are going to have to learn to love the way you are made. And learn that the “beauty standard” is not reality and should not be looked up to. It's toxic for your mindset and not worth your time, time that could be spent loving yourself.

Anjelica Shrestha - 20 years old

1. For me, beauty stems from having the courage to love yourself and your imperfections - a journey into self-acceptance! It is a journey that I have been taking a step towards, while learning to be kind, loving and confident in myself, and the world around me.

2. I feel the most beautiful when my mom smiles at me.

3. My drive to optimism when tackling my personal challenges - the courage I have gotten from my parents - is what I personally find to be beautiful about myself. Having hit so many rough patches, especially during this year, my parents have never forgotten to remind me: “Herne tarika ramro bhaye pachi, duniya pani ramrai huncha,” which genuinely means: “How you choose see world, is how you see the world.” It is a sentiment that has consistently challenged and encouraged me to look at the light of each situation and see the beauty of growth within the challenges that life has to offer.

Vanessa Sorge - 47 years old

1. Beauty is a good heart. Someone who treats everyone with love and respect. Someone who sees the best in others and goes above and beyond to help others see it.

2. I feel most beautiful when I have a shower and put on my makeup. I feel beautiful when I feel both powerful and strong.

3. I radiate warmth and love, I think this makes me beautiful.

Katie Drover - 20 years old

1. Beauty looks different to everyone. I think beauty is something you see that you like. When I see a genuine smile, it brings me joy. When I see someone helping another, it brings me joy. When I see waves crashing into rocks, it brings me joy. These are just a few of the things I find beautiful.

2. I feel most beautiful when I feel happy. It’s hard to nail down just one thing that makes me feel most beautiful. I feel beautiful when I put on a gorgeous dress and dance around like nobody's watching. I also feel beautiful when I’m helping someone else or crushing a hard workout. One thread that follows each of these moments is that they all make me happy.

3. I think my shoulders are really beautiful. I have broad shoulders from many years of swimming as a kid. I’ve had them described before as “football shoulders”. I think my shoulders are beautiful because they make me look and feel strong. I also think they’re beautiful because they represent the many hours of hard work I’ve put into my sports.

Michelle Osborne - 53 years old

1. Kindness and care and looking someone in their eyes and listening to their story - without interruption or excuse- is beautiful. Looking after yourself well is beautiful. Tao Porchon-Lyon, the 101 year old yoga teacher and dancer, was so beautiful. She radiated vitality and self love and continued hope for more joyful memories. There's always something else, something beautiful- no matter our age- around the corner, but you have to walk around it.

2. When I'm with my good friends I feel beautiful. I feel accepted so the moment occupies me, not how my body looks in the moment. I feel especially beautiful in sunshine and in or near water with those I can be myself with.

3. I was told once that there's a magical dip above my mid upper lip that is beautiful and perhaps this is true, but honestly my love affair has always been with my hair. It's long and wild and makes me feel beautiful. I also think my eyes are a lovely blue green, but mostly this makes me happy because I'm reminded of my dad and my nieces and nephew. Knowing I've contributed to their lives makes me feel beautiful; same with my god daughters. I've been a constant.

Jordan Soares - 20 years old

1. I define beauty as qualities or physical attributes that increase someone’s self-image. Google likes to define beauty as colours or forms that are AESTHETICALLY pleasing; but it is so much more than that. There can be attractive qualities (not just romantic, but something that attracts you to one's presence in a room) that are far more than just physical. How someone treats another person can make them seem even more beautiful, because of the aura of kindness around them.

2. I feel the most beautiful when I feel the most in tune with my body. After a workout, or especially after yoga and stretching. When I am proud of what my body can do, that’s when I feel the most beautiful because I feel the most confident and comfortable in my own skin. I think there’s always a confidence boost too when you put on a cute outfit and some makeup on and take some pictures! Also, when you get out of your own head for a while and do something to help someone else. I often find that makes me just happier in general and then I see myself as more beautiful.

3. First of all, I am thankful about what I can do with my body. I can go for hikes, lift weights, and have great flexibility. I think being grateful for the ability of your body is SO SO important. As for what I think is beautiful physically about myself, I do love my baby blue eyes. They sparkle in the light and when they stand out I feel so beautiful. I also really like my hair (most of the time!). I also think that my heart is beautiful, because I have so much love for people. I have not met some of my physique goals necessarily, but I do think I am beautiful most of the times that I look in the mirror. We all have days when we don’t like what we see in the mirror. It can be motivating or super discouraging (most of the time it's super discouraging, not gonna lie), but maintaining the thankful mindset of what your body CAN do is so important and can totally change the way we see beauty and our bodies in general!

Maryanna Phillips - 55 years old

1. Beauty is not necessarily physical to me; it is interacting and observing. I view beauty as a presence and one's personal awareness of who they are. When someone has a warmness and acceptance about who they are, their energy is beautiful.

2. After I do yoga. When I feel centred and balanced and a harmony within my body, that’s when I feel most beautiful.

3. I don't particularly feel most comfortable with my body image at times as a 55 year old woman. I don't always feel ‘beautiful’, but I think that my determination to keep moving forward is beautiful. My ability to be noble and strong, to persevere, and the love I radiate to my children and husband are beautiful attributes I have.

Clara Maj - 20 years old

1. I define beauty as something that is appealing to me and how I see it. I find beauty even in little and simple things. Sometimes it’s things around me like sunsets or a clean room. Sometimes it’s little traits I notice about myself or others that add to their beauty, like freckles. There are times where I notice beauty in kind gestures and traits, like caring for someone who is in pain.

2. I feel most beautiful when I'm surrounded by people who bring out the best in me. Those that make me genuinely laugh and smile while having a good time.

3. I think my kindness and positive attitude, as well as the way I project those onto others, is beautiful. I've had many times where I know someone is down, and after a bit of talking and uplifting, they have a smile on their face. Being able to make someone smile is truly beautiful.

Angela Thompson - 49 years old

1. To me, beauty is that which captures our attention and fills us with all sorts of positive emotions, like joy or peace or a sense of purpose. Therefore, beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. When it comes to beauty and people, I think beauty goes much deeper than the surface. Beauty flows out of our character and values and the way we treat others.

2. I feel the most beautiful at two very different times. One is at the gym when I am lifting heavy weights or stepping onto a powerlifting platform in competition. Feeling strong makes me feel beautiful. Secondly, I feel beautiful when I am living authentically, upholding the principles and qualities I value the most, and when I look outward, focusing on serving, blessing, or encouraging someone else.

3. What is beautiful about myself are the invisible things, like kindness, generosity, love, and empathy. These qualities may not put my face on a magazine cover, but I hope that when people know me they see these beautiful aspects of my character.

Ava Harrison - 23 years old

1. I think beauty is that attractiveness that comes when someone is confident in themselves, being true to who they are, and are doing what they love. There is a glow and spark that can be visually seen when someone is being their-self. Clothing size and makeup have nothing to do with it, but unfortunately, they are commonly associated with one another.

2. Probably when I am proud of myself - whether it is through academics or if I just did a good deed. I feel a little lighter and brighter.

3. I like to think that I am really approachable and make others feel cared about. Part of that is my big, goofy smile, so I think that a combination of both is a beautiful attribute of mine.

Andrea Jacob - 19 years old

1. I define beauty as being unapologetically your best self - confident, happy, and compassionate.

2. I feel most beautiful when I pursue my passions and make a positive impact in whatever I do, whether that be with my friends or in my community.

3. All of me! To pick one thing, I would say my energy, sincerity, and compassion are what is most beautiful.

You are BEAUTIFUL,

Xoxo Anna

by Anna Phillips '23 (Blog Subcommittee Member)