Double the Work, Double the Love - Mother's Day Blog

“Every girl, no matter where she lives, deserves the opportunity to develop the promise inside of her.” - Michelle Obama

My mom has been one of the most influential figures in my life. As an immigrant mother, she has been my traditional Indian family’s primary home caregiver. From washing our clothes to cooking our meals, my mom has worked hard to make our house a home. As a child, I would watch her be the first person to wake up in the morning, the only person to complete household chores throughout the day, and the last person to sleep at night.

When my sister was stuck at home for three days because of a nasty fever, my mom was the one who stayed up the whole night, putting cold washcloths on my sister’s forehead. When I ran home after some bully pushed me down the slide, my mom was the one who patched up my scraped knee and kissed my forehead to soothe me. When my dad was stressed from handling finances, my mom was the one who spent hours helping him organize our tax documents. For so many years, I thought of my mom as someone who gave her unconditional love and support to my family by taking care of all of us and our home.

However, as I grew up, I came to recognize that to become such a wonderful mother, my mom has made many sacrifices along the way. It was a big surprise for me to learn that my mom had actually gone to university. In fact, in university, she obtained not only a bachelor’s degree, but also a master’s degree, which is an even higher education than my dad. Despite having this formal education, once married, my mom was expected to become a stay-at-home mother, and that’s exactly what she did. This expectation became her new reality. That’s when I realized that my mom sacrificed not only her future career for our family, but also her opportunity to reach her full potential and achieve her own dreams. Every day, she has given my dad, my sister, and I the utmost love and attention without complaints.

Recently, my mom got her first job after more than 10 years as a stay-at-home mother. However, even with a full-time job, my mom’s household duties remain as expected of an Indian woman in a traditional family. She is still expected to clean the entire house, cook everyone’s meals, and take care of us all. She is still expected to maintain our household all by herself, and above all else, she is still expected to put her family before herself. She is now expected to succeed in working at two full-time jobs, one as a home caregiver and the other as a banking associate. Even though my sister and I help as much as we can, if anything falls short, my mom knows our family will blame her job. She faces incredible pressure every day. from others and from herself. I have never in my entire life seen my mom so stressed, so anxious, so exhausted….but also so EXCITED before.

To my mom, this is not just a job, this is her second chance, a second opportunity to freely try and achieve her potential - her promise - that she had been forced to give up so long ago. For so long, my mom has given all of her time and energy to my family, but now, she can also start giving some of that time and energy to herself. For the longest time, my mom was only my mother. Now, I see that she, just like so many other mothers, is an ambitious woman with her own aspirations, a woman who deserves to be able to pursue her dreams.

Does this job make her lose sleep? Yes.

Does this job make her anxious and fearful of failure? Definitely.

Does she still get up at 7am everyday to cook food for the whole family and finish all her morning tasks before heading off to an 8-hour shift? Without fail.

Every day, I see my mom working so hard to develop her promise despite unimaginable pressures. And every day, she inspires me to try and develop mine.

by Rijuta Gohil '23 (Blog Subcommittee Member)