The Post-Pandemic Predicament

It's finally time to get back to the yearly school routine. The last year has been a wild roller coaster, from social isolation to online school; it was a true whirlwind of highs and lows. Most days, I can’t tell if it feels as though time moved by too quickly or too slowly, with the entirety of 2020 feeling like a fever dream. Honestly, I think we all deserve a re-do. But, unfortunately, time stops for no one, or in this case, no virus. It's the start of the school year once again, and after the year we’ve just had, the next few months can feel quite daunting.

To start off, we’ve got the regular back-to-school madness. It’s only a few months in, and yet, I have an overwhelming amount of tasks to complete. Without nearly enough time in the day, the endless list of lectures to watch, assignments to finish, and tests to study for seems to go on and on. Plus, exam season is fast approaching. This, of course, leads to late night studying sessions right before early morning lectures and countless cups of coffee to stay awake through it all. I swear, it was only yesterday when I was so ready for everything to get started again. Now, flash forward to a few weeks later, and I have never been more ready for things to just stop for a second.

However, things don’t seem to have any intention of slowing down, much less stopping, especially now. The post-pandemic momentum is gaining speed, and many places are re-opening. From schools, to restaurants, to gym facilities, COVID-19 restrictions are being lifted, and it's about time! But, while all of this is very exciting, it can also be a little nerve-wracking, especially for someone like myself. Even with vaccinations, I’m still terrified that I’m somehow going to get COVID-19 and give it to my family every time I visit home. The slightest hint of a sore throat sends me on frantic Google searches and COVID-19 test bookings. So, though the post-pandemic re-opening vibes are a definite sight for sore eyes, COVID-19 is still very relevant in our lives. For me, it’s a major source of caution that is only going to get bigger as more restrictions ease up.

On top of COVID-19 concerns, I have also discovered a new and surprising source of stress: social interactions. This pandemic has definitely taken its toll on me, leaving me more anxious than ever. I’ve forgotten how to act around other people, much less how to interact with them. When in public places, it feels as though I can’t remember what standard social etiquette is, often stressing about how I look or if I’m acting weird. When meeting friends I haven’t seen in a while, there seems to be this unseen aura of awkwardness, one that makes the conversations harder to carry out. And don’t even get me started on in-person classes. Just weeks ago, I had my first in-person tutorial, and let me just say, I have never felt so terribly unsure and lost. During the class, I was a mess of worries, constantly overthinking my every action. By the end, I had not participated a single time, but also could not remember a single thing that had been taught, which meant I had even more schoolwork to catch up on. With two months gone by since school started, I’m still feeling pretty awkward and uncomfortable around people, whether it be friends, classmates, or even just random people on the bus.

Right now, my life feels like an endless pit of anxiety and pressure. I’m constantly conflicted between my desire to regain a sense of pre-COVID normalcy and my fear of returning to everyday life. A lot of the time, I start wondering about how I used to handle all of this before— that’s another rabbit hole of self-doubt and uncertainty. And, sometimes, this pit gets me worrying about whether life will ever feel like it used to.

That’s when I realize that I’m probably not alone. We’ve all gone through rough times, and it’s okay to feel insecure and overwhelmed. Anxiety, stress, and worry are all emotions that existed before the pandemic and they will continue to exist long afterwards. Moreover, it’s okay to not know what’s going to happen next and to be afraid of that. If we can get through life during a pandemic, there’s no way the post-pandemic life can bring us down. Just remember, all of these are steps in the right direction, steps that we all will take together.

by Rijuta Gohil '23 (Blog Subcommittee Member)